Too Much To Make Up For
by purpleladybeetle
Summary: Lily Evans and James Potter have never got along. But when Lily needs James's help, will he be there to give it to her? A continuation from the Pensieve scene in JK's Order of the Phoenix
1. Default Chapter

'_Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate,' said Sirius._

'_Right,' said James, who looked furious now, 'right...' _

'Don't let it get to you mate,' Sirius added genuinely. 'There's plenty more at this school like her, looks-wise, I mean, just choose one of them – make her jealous! That's how to win 'em!'

James didn't feel any better though. 'Yeah, but I like _her_.' He thought to himself. He reached his hand up to mess up his hair at the back, then suddenly stopped himself- remembering what Lily had said earlier. _'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick…"_

'Dammit, I AM an idiot' he said angrily to himself.

Sirius grinned 'Actually, now you come to mention it…'he joked. James ignored him.

Remus looked up from the book he was reading. He was trying to ignore Wormtail- who was attempting to remember the last two features of a werewolf that he missed on his OWLs.

"Prongs, there's only one way to convince her that you're not the toerag…well, that you're only _half_ the toerag she accuses you of being." James looked at him blankly. "_Talking_ to her?" Remus prompted.

James dawned on the idea. "Oh, um, yeah. I can do that." He said slowly. "Okay, I'll see you at dinner." He said as he began to walk back up to the castle. "You can do it Prongs!" Sirius laughed.

James hurried through the corridors, up to the Gryffindor Common Room. He couldn't find Lily. He saw her friends sitting at a table in the corner chatting. James tried to look confident. "Hey, um, have you guys seen Lily?" the girls simply stared at him. One looked at him with interest and said- "And for what reason would James Potter be looking for Lily Evans?" James was startled at the remark. "I just wanted to talk to her- d'you know where she is?" The girls continued to stare at him. "She's in the Library, doing next week's homework" the first girl said, laughing.

James was relieved to leave. "Ok, thanks." He said, and hurried off to the Library.

There weren't many people in the Library, just a few scattered around chatting and doing homework. Lily was sitting at a table in the corner with her Transfiguration book open. She didn't really appear to be working. She still seemed to be a bit huffed from her argument with James outside. James couldn't help liking the way her curly red hair fell over her face. Now that he had found her, he couldn't find anything to say. "Hi," or "What are you doing?" both sounded a bit lame. He stuck his hands in his pockets, as if searching for ideas. Suddenly, the golden Snitch from his pocket flew out, and zoomed over to Lily's table. James hurried over to catch it, as she looked up. He grabbed it, just before it hit her in the face. She looked startled, then saw James and her face began to look angry again. "Come back to brag a bit more, have you Potter?" she snarled.

"No!" James said quickly.

"Well, what are you here for? Come to laugh at me? Accuse me of being in love with Snape?" she snapped back at him.

"No, really-" James said hastily. "I just wanted to say..." his voice trailed off. Was apologising always so hard? "I wanted to say that I was sorry for being an idiot."

Lily blinked. 'Oh, I see your conscience got the better of you.'

'Stop accusing me Evans, and hear me out!' James said angrily. Lily became quiet, her eyes were watching him carefully. 'Look, I'm sorry for showing off…' he swallowed, 'and doing all that stuff you said.' Lily looked shocked.

'You-You're apologising?" she stammered incredulously.

'Yeah,' said James. Was that so hard to believe?

'I can't believe you,' Lily said quietly. 'You're always putting people down and act like you own the school_.' _James' heart flopped. Why did she have to be so nice? Every other girl at school worshipped him. Or was that why he liked Lily? He thought to himself, because she didn't?

James didn't know what to say to her. What more was there to say? She clearly didn't like him. Lily opened her mouth to say something, reddening a bit in the face, and hesitated before asking: "You didn't mean what you said at the lake before, did you? When you asked me out?"

James was shocked. "Um, yeah, I did." He said. "But I suppose I've got too much to make up for, don't I?" Lily didn't say anything for a moment, and then said-

"You could apologise to Snape. He's an idiot, but that's no excuse to tip him upside down and advertise his underwear to the world. Do that…' her voice softened a bit, still unsure, 'Do that and I'll go out with you.'

James was furious. 'You want me to apologise to SNAPE?" he cried. "No way Evans- that's too much, it's BLACKMAIL, that's what it is."

Lily's face was blank. "I guess I expected that." She said. She gathered up her books and left the library, leaving James very angry indeed.


	2. Back in the Library

James grumbled the whole way back to the Common Room. He told Sirius what had happened in the library with Lily, but he just laughed. "I told you mate – she's not worth it!" Sirius turned sideways in his armchair, so his legs were dangling over the side – in his signature laid-back style.

He glanced over at a group of 4th years sitting around one of the tables, and indicated them with his head to James. He grinned. "Come on James, Violet's liked you for ages. Try her." James muttered something inaudible, and turned away. Why was it that the only girl he ever really liked, didn't like him? Sirius was right. Girls were too sticky a business to get into. He firmly told himself there and then that he wouldn't trouble himself with females again.

At that moment, as if on cue, Lily appeared through the portrait-hole. James's heart started beating faster. What should he say to her? As she climbed through, the massive pile of books she was carrying fell out of her arms. James, instinctively, rushed over to pick them up for her, knocking Alexander Pinn out of the way – who was also bending down to pick the books up, as he did so. It was a well-known fact that Alexander liked Lily. James had noticed him staring at her in Charms - it was downright creepy.

As Lily straightened up, James handed the books to her. "Thanks-" she began to say as she reached for the books, not realising who the helper was. She slowly looked up at James, who was about 10 inches taller than her. Her eyes narrowed into the mother of foul looks. "Thankyou." She said briskly, not making eye-contact with him, walking swiftly away. James caught her arm. "Lily – I,"

"Excuse me, I have a lot of study and heaps of homework to do."

"Please, just let me talk to you."

"I have to write an owl to my parents"

"Lily – come on, I didn't mean it like that…"

"I can't talk, I'm really tired, and I want to go to bed…"

James stopped. "I thought you were going to study and write an owl to your parents?" he smirked. Lily looked up at him, flushing furiously, the anger rising in her face. Her voice was quickly rising. "James – look, I just – don't want to talk to you. I don't want to be anywhere near you and I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!" These last few words of frustration rose above the loud chatter in the common room, and everyone turned to face them.

There was silence. James looked over at Sirius who was smirking. Next to him, Remus had looked up from his book, a look of commiseration on his face. James turned to Lily. She closed her eyes, humiliated. "I'm-" he began to say, but Lily took an angry breath, turned on her heel and crawled back out the portrait-hole. As soon as the Fat Lady's portrait closed, the laughter and nattering in the room rose again.

He walked back over to Sirius and Remus, infuriated with himself. Sitting back down in his armchair, he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. Sirius lent forward. He sighed dramatically. "James, James, James. When will you ever learn? I told you, didn't I?" James looked up at him, trying to re-enact Lily's killer death-stare, and failing miserably. "Yeah." He muttered bitterly. "You told me." Sirius just grinned his lop-sided grin.

The three of them didn't say anything for a while, James just sitting there with his head in his hands, fuming, Remus trying to peacefully continue his book, failing due to the amount of noise in the common room, and Sirius, who was casually flicking his wand, so that Alexander Pinn's books kept falling off the table.

When they did, Alexander would bend down; pick them up, only to have Sirius knock them over again. Alexander looked around aggravatingly every time, but never managed to find the culprit as Sirius would look away, innocently.

After a while, Sirius stood up, stretched and yawned loudly. "I'm going to bed fellas." Remus looked up at him.

"Don't you have Transfiguration homework?" he asked pointedly. Sirius smirked.

"Nah – I've got a detention with McGonagall tomorrow anyway. Two missed lots of homework for the price of one is how I see it." He grinned again. "Night." And headed up the spiral staircase to their dorm room.

Remus glanced at his watch, and closed his book. "I think I'll call it a day too. I'll finish my homework in the morning." He looked down at Harry, still angrily hitting his head. He gave a small smile. "Good night Prongs."

James didn't look up. "Night, Moony."

As James continued to sit there, the common room slowly cleared. A seventh year, Arthur Weasley was the last to leave. He looked pityingly at James and punched him playfully on the shoulder. "Women." He scoffed, grinning, before heading up to his room, too. James looked up, and grinned back at him, pretending not to care.

He sat there a while longer, lost in the fire's flames, when he suddenly realised that he hadn't heard Lily come back. It had been about 8.30 when he had arrived back at the common room, and she'd get into trouble if she was out after 9.00. He stood up. She couldn't lose her Prefect badge; he knew how much it meant to her.

Instinctively, he ran up to his dorm room, and rummaged around in his trunk, searching for his cloak. His invisibility cloak. He tore down the stairs, and clambered out the portrait-hole. He didn't need to think where to go, as he wrapped the cloak around him, making him completely and entirely opaque – the Library. Where else would Lily be?

The cool November air nipped at him through the cloak as he made his way silently through the corridors. He moved quickly, but carefully – he was especially cautious around corners. Once, he had run straight into Dippit, but luckily it had been dark so he had not been seen.

Why was he doing this? He found himself thinking. He and Lily had despised each other ever since their first day at Hogwarts. James and Sirius met on the train, and decided to scout around looking for female talent. Lily had been sitting with her friend Alice when they strutted into their compartment. He remembered the look of disgust on Lily's face when he and Sirius walked in - she could see right through them. She had completely ignored his attempts to talk to her. He had become frustrated, and joked harshly about the state of her trunk and books – her family was poorer than his. Lily had never forgiven him. James's insides turned as he imagined the look on her face when he had said it. He hadn't even meant to…he had thought she was so pretty, and trying so hard to impress her.

He reached the Library, and became extra quiet, just in case Madam Pince was still hovering around, obsessively straightening and cleaning her books. What if she found Lily? The hundreds and hundreds of bookshelves that carried thousands and thousands of books created tall, dark shadows across the floor. James had never been to the Library at this time of night. He and Sirius had never 'wasted' the beauty of the Invisibility Cloak in somewhere as unadventurous as the Library.

James looked around frantically, he couldn't see Madam Pince. He barely breathed, listening for the shuffling of feet. He continued moving around the shelves and tables and chairs, but couldn't find Lily. Suddenly, he focused on a small, red-headed figure hunched over a huge pile of books in the back corner. He hurried over to her. She was asleep.

James gently shook her awake. She mumbled quietly, rubbing her eyes, then suddenly jerked awake. She looked around, but couldn't see anyone. James realised he still had his cloak on and quickly pulled it off. It startled Lily, and she gave a scream. "No!" James covered her mouth with his hand, keeping absolutely silent, praying that no one had heard her.


	3. The Kitchen

Their eyes locked. Lily didn't fight him, still stunned. James didn't know what to do or say. Then, suddenly, he heard footsteps, getting louder and closer. Lily's eyes grew wider as she realised what was happening.

James put his finger to his lips, and picked up his cloak again, wrapping it around the both of them. Lily motioned to pick up her books, but James stopped her, and shook his head. "Get them tomorrow." He mouthed. Lily hesitated, then nodded.

They began to move quickly out of the library. They were almost at the door, when suddenly Filch, the caretaker, appeared in the door-frame. Lily gasped, but luckily Filch didn't hear her. They were right in front of him, only 3 metres away. James put his hand around Lily's waist, and began to move slowly to the side. Lily moved with him, neither of them daring to breathe.

Filch took a step into the room, looking around acidly. James knew that Filch's greatest ambition was to catch a student disobeying any of the school rules and have him or her expelled. Mrs Norris, his cat, seemed to be a female feline version of Filch, and would hurry off to him should she ever catch a student doing wrong.

Lily looked up at James, pure terror in her eyes. He looked back at her, trying to telepathically tell her that it would be all right.

They waited with baited breath for what seemed like hours for Filch to leave. The darkness of the Library added to the tension, and James felt like the wind outside was whispering its disapproval.

Mrs Norris came within inches from James's foot, then Filch began to walk away and she followed. James turned to Lilly. "Wait" he mouthed. They slowly and softly crept out the door. James suddenly saw Filch at the bottom of the staircase they were about to go down. He stopped Lily again, and pointed down another set of stairs. They moved swiftly, further and further away from Filch, until they were positive that he was nowhere near them.

They slowed down. James looked at Lily out of the corner of his eyes. She was looking at the floor. She turned to him.

"Lily I'm really sorry for what I said, and I know you're mad and…"

"Thanks for coming to get me, I would have been in so much trouble…" They both spoke at the same time. They laughed softly.

"Let me go first." Said James. "I want you to know that-" he stopped, and looked around. "We're lost." Lily stopped too.

They were in a corridor with paintings of fruit. James grinned. "No we're not, this way." He led her to a large painting of a big bowl of fruit. He reached up and tickled the pear. It gave a small giggle, wobbled a little bit, and then the painting swung open. Lily just stared.

"Where are we going?" she whispered.

"You'll see in a minute." James replied.

They stepped into a huge, brightly-lit room, with four long tables. A blazing fire on the right wall flooded the whole room with warmth, and an immense feeling of security. James threw off the cloak. Lily looked at him. "We're in the kitchen?" she asked incredulously. About twenty house elves rushed over to them.

"Mr Potter!"

"So good to see you again!"

"Let us get something for you to eat Mr Potter!"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "And I'm assuming you've been here before." She rolled her eyes. "Outstanding leadership skills Potter, breaking how many rules?"

James stopped smiling. "Lily, come on, please, can we just have some fun?" He looked at her. She was trying not to smile. He grinned, and grabbed her hand. "Come on." She let him lead her to a table the house elves had set up in front of the fire.

The elves had set the table complete with a table cloth, knives, forks and a flower in a vase in the centre. As Lily and James sat down, they placed a jug of pumpkin juice and two goblets on the table. Lily laughed nervously.

"How did you find this place?" she asked.

James poured the pumpkin juice. "Sirius and I found it about two years ago. We were out trying to find the Slytherin common room one night, so we could hex Snape…" Lily raised her eyebrows again. James swallowed nervously, and decided to skip the details. "And, uh, someone almost caught us, and one of the portraits told us to come here. We didn't know it was the kitchen at time. But, it's always been handy."

Lily looked at him, flabbergasted, then began to laugh. James didn't know what he'd said that was so funny, but enjoyed the sight of her laughing. She never seemed to laugh much. "I just can't believe I'm sitting at a table, having dinner, and a civilised conversation with James Potter. Why are you wasting your time with someone like me?" James's heart flopped.

The house elves brought them dinner. They had both missed it tonight, and were famished. They ate in silence for a few minutes. "Someone like me…" Someone like what? Smart, pretty, genuine, kind, sensible, talented…there were many reasons why he was 'wasting' his time with her. It had just taken him a few years to realise how much he wanted it.

She had been right. He was arrogant, and egotistical. Had he always been so proud? He looked at her, and she smiled, and took a sip of her pumpkin juice. James drank some pumpkin juice too, to clear his throat.

"Look Lily, about today, I really have to tell you how sorry I am." She looked at him blankly. "Cause, ahem, uh, I'm…I'm really sorry."

She didn't say anything for a moment, then "I know you are," She sighed "and I'm sorry too." James looked up, surprised. "I'm too harsh. I-I shouldn't have told you apologise to Snape or anything. It's not my place. I shouldn't have interfered."

James shook his head. "No, Lily, I-I'm glad you did. I mean, it was wrong what I did, and I promise I won't do it again. You really woke me up, I had never…never realised what I was like, how I was acting. Please, can we be friends?"

She was silent again. Then a small smile crept onto her face. "I think we can." She raised her glass, as if making a toast. He picked up his goblet, and they clinked together. They each took a sip.

When they finally decided to leave the toasty warmth of the kitchen, the house elves insisted they take with them a huge pile of pastries with them. They both thanked the elves profusely, Lily seemed to enjoy it.

Friends. It was settled then. They would be friends. Friends…why didn't that satisfy him? Because he liked her. Friends were people he had fun with, who he laughed with, and got up to no good with. He wanted more than that with Lily. He wished the night could go on a bit longer.

Clutching the invisibility cloak tightly around them, they walked back to the common room in silence; neither really knew what to say. Before long, they were at there. They whispered the password "Chudley Cannons" and climbed through the portrait hole. James pulled the invisibility cloak off them. Lily turned to him. "Thanks, James, I…I had fun." She smiled warmly.

"Yeah. It was good." Was all he could reply. Lily flushed.

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. That'd be good." Yeah? Good? Was that all he could say to her?

She smiled shyly, and turned to go up the spiral staircase to the girl's bathroom. James stopped her. "Wait – Lily." His voice was hoarse. He cleared it. She turned back to face him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Look, I…I don't think this 'friends' thing is going to work out between us." He said quietly, his eyes studying the intricacy of the pattern on the carpet.

Her face dropped. "Oh...okay." She trailed off. Her eyes were sad. She looked hurt. There was more silence. He saw her take a breath, as if to say something, but she hesitated, then

"um…why not?"

James was searching for words. He couldn't describe it. "Because…" He didn't know what to say, so he did something else. He took her hand, bent down, and kissed her. Softly. On the lips. His stomach felt like it had thousands of bubbles floating around in it, and were all bursting happily. It felt right.

As he pulled away, Lily looked up at him through her long, dark, eyelashes, surveying his face. He wasn't joking. He grinned at her, and she smiled back.

"Good night Lily"

"Good night James"


End file.
